I have a Delhi shaped hole in my heart

The festive season is upon us though you wouldn't feel it looking at the glum faces of people here in New York. I miss home the most during this time as each event starting with navratras, dussehra, Karav chauth, Diwali remind me of home and what we did. Especially Diwali. I miss being in Delhi where there is a buzz in the air this time - shops and homes lit up, people shopping in hordes, firecrackers going off, weather finally starting to turn - not cold yet but a lovely nip in the air. I miss not being able to go to puja pandals during navratras and eat that awesome bhog, not sitting through the dussehra puja after which every room in the house would be cleansed with holy smoke, not being able to fast in a big exuberant group on karva chauth ...just about everything.

I remember we used to wake up early on Diwali to help mum make alpana around the house with natural colors - ground rice for white, turmeric for yellow and roli for red. Then we used to decorate the house with flowers and every year we would think of an innovative way. The living room was set with a dry fruit tray and other yummy stuff decorated for the visitors that would be pouring in all day. The rest of the day is a haze now - don't remember what we did but we used to be excited all day. Preparations used to start for the elaborate puja in the evening with khil, sugar toys, batashas and lots and lots of lamps. We used to light candles all over, one for every room and lots of them in the balcony and the doorway to welcome goddess Lakshmi. After puja we would go down for bursting crackers - very harmless ones, sparklers, fountains and the like. When we were slightly older, I used to go out with my friends for a walk round the block and I remember it was beautiful with all houses lit up and people smiling.

I now try to bring some diwali spirit into my house but it is just not the same. And having a dettached husband doesn't help - he is most supportive of whatever I do and cleans up the house and does everything to help but doesn't really understand why I feel so strongly and why I put in so much effort to decorate the house and call people over etc... We generally have a potluck and I decorate the house with diyas, rangoli and for one evening try to recreate those memories and bring diwali into my house...