Thoughts on the Mumbai incident

• I have been glued to my computer over the last 3 days reading as much as I can on the Mumbai attacks as pundits analyze, city residents reminisce the good times and Indians everywhere mourn the attacks. The more I read, the more helpless and pessimistic I feel. There is the same sense of outrage after every incident and then we go back to our usual humbug existence. But what choice do we have, what can we do? I don't know but I am looking for answers. I don't think the incidence will mean our politicians will wake up or even overhaul our intelligence agency. As things settle down, we will not remember about the modernization of forces, the need to get them proper bullet proof vest, until something else happens.
• We were in Vegas over the Thanksgiving weekend but ended up being stuck to TV for almost the entire Thursday, thankful that CNN had chosen to cover it live rather than ignore it like other non-US news. Even after, I felt vaguely guilty going out and enjoying myself when a crisis was going on in my country. I felt I am expressing my solidarity by tracking it on the news, don't ask me why.
• People have asked me if I am still going ahead with my India plans, specifically Mumbai. Of course I am!! In fact I want to there sooner and for longer. I feel the need to touch the air, breathe it, fell the same things my friends and family are feeling there. The thought of cancelling the trip didn't even cross my mind. We will be there and visit the Taj and travel in a train and do anything to show solidarity. If I wanted to move back to India for good sometime in the future before the incident, I want to even more now. It is my country and I signed up to stand by its side in good and bad times. The attack has brought out some emotions in me which I didn't know existed.
• I spoke to my sister who is in Delhi and she said that for the first time, she is afraid to step out of the house. You never know what happens next. Is this really what it has come to?