Vegas, Baby!

Today I realized that the blog is a wonderful place to document vacations. We usually do so much research before going anywhere, buying lonely planet, picking out recommended places to eat that I feel we should record it somewhere for us to go back and remember and even to share our recommendations with others. I hope to go back and write about our previous vacations - Bermuda, Peru, San Fran, Bahamas, Prague, Brekenridge (Denver) sometime, however, for now is our latest advent Vegas!

Day 1: We stayed in the Mandalay Bay hotel and the first morning decided to check out the buffet which Vegas is famous for! Turns out it was a bad idea to start with the breakfast buffet. Don't get me wrong, the buffet was awesome and after stuffing ourselves for 2 hours and 4 rounds and the MS disappointed that we didn't do justice to the dessert, we really couldn't move. I mean literally as we went to our room and slept for the entire afternoon!! In the evening we got dressed and ventured out. We walked to the MGM Grand and had a drink. The hotel was not really impressive and was actually hideous from the outside, but we had tickets for a show called 'Crazy Horse' there and decided it was best to hang around it. Everything in Vegas seems a little plush, little grand. Our bar was in the middle of the casino surrounded by comfy leather couches and the girls who were bartending would occasionally get up on the bar and dance (!!). The show was nice - it apparently has its origins in Moulin Rouge of Paris and was very sexy. This reminds me one of the songs they danced to was 'I am a good girl"..go listen to it, deliciously naughty!! By the time the show got over, most restaurants were shutting down as it was thanksgiving thursday so we had a quick dinner at an Asian place and headed back to our hotel, tired and sleepy. Don't know why tired but we again slept like babies!

Day 2: This time we were more planned. We walked down to Paris as the weather was gorgeously sunny and right outside the hotel there was a sign saying "join us for pastries and coffee on the patio". This was of course sufficient temptation for us to veer towards the direction of the sign. We sat outside on a lovely terrace with a beautiful fountain on the side with coffee, a huge banana nut muffin and a blueberry scone. It was perfect. After a while, fountains of the Bellagio across the road started up and I felt like I was really in Paris (not that I have seen dancing fountains in Paris ever!). Anyhoo, we walked through the entire insides of the hotel and it was absolutely amazing how they have replicated the whole city with little touches inside complete with corner cafes, Parfumeries and what have you. We then walked to Bellagio and the Caeser's palace hotel. Caeser's palace was beautiful as well with Rome replicated in the shopping area. By then our legs had given way - we grabbed a quick lunch at Chipotle and headed back to our room for a quick nap. We had tickets to go see Cirque de soleil's show O in the evening and I was so excited! And it did not disappoint. It was the most spectacular show I have ever seen. I don't know how they get water on stage or those Olympic calibre divers, but it was just phenomenal! After that we headed to the Venetian for dinner. Another beautiful hotel with Venice with Gondolas, canals etc replicated. We went to the highly recommended Tao for dinner. Though an hour wait for a 10:30 reservation was a bit much, the food made up for it. They even gave us a line pass for the super popular club next doors, however, we were too tired to party and called it a day.

Day 3: The day started with the famous Bellagio brunch buffet (yes, we really don't learn). We then decided to figure out the public transportation in Vegas and took the monorail to the Wynn. I have this fascination for the public transportation and love figuring it out in new cities and get a great sense of achievement if we can manage a trip without using cabs, just walking, buses, trams/subway. So anyway, monorail was very disappointing to say the least (more on that sometime else) but the Wynn was a wonderful surprise. It is one of the lesser known hotels in Vegas probably because it is more 'residential' and does not mimick any famous city like New York, Paris, Rome, Venice etc. However, it is absolutely beautiful complete with high green hills with waterfalls. You can sit in one of their many terraces, sip coffee/cocktail and look out at one of these waterfalls and you'll never guess you are in Vegas. We then sauntered off to the Venetian to appreciate it by the day light. By the time we walked back to our hotel, it was already close to our flight time and my legs had completely given way.

To conclude, don't listen to anyone who says Vegas is good only by the night. It looks just as beautiful by the day if you can get the right weather. And oh, the food! I have already shortlisted the restaurants for my next trip!

Thoughts on the Mumbai incident

• I have been glued to my computer over the last 3 days reading as much as I can on the Mumbai attacks as pundits analyze, city residents reminisce the good times and Indians everywhere mourn the attacks. The more I read, the more helpless and pessimistic I feel. There is the same sense of outrage after every incident and then we go back to our usual humbug existence. But what choice do we have, what can we do? I don't know but I am looking for answers. I don't think the incidence will mean our politicians will wake up or even overhaul our intelligence agency. As things settle down, we will not remember about the modernization of forces, the need to get them proper bullet proof vest, until something else happens.
• We were in Vegas over the Thanksgiving weekend but ended up being stuck to TV for almost the entire Thursday, thankful that CNN had chosen to cover it live rather than ignore it like other non-US news. Even after, I felt vaguely guilty going out and enjoying myself when a crisis was going on in my country. I felt I am expressing my solidarity by tracking it on the news, don't ask me why.
• People have asked me if I am still going ahead with my India plans, specifically Mumbai. Of course I am!! In fact I want to there sooner and for longer. I feel the need to touch the air, breathe it, fell the same things my friends and family are feeling there. The thought of cancelling the trip didn't even cross my mind. We will be there and visit the Taj and travel in a train and do anything to show solidarity. If I wanted to move back to India for good sometime in the future before the incident, I want to even more now. It is my country and I signed up to stand by its side in good and bad times. The attack has brought out some emotions in me which I didn't know existed.
• I spoke to my sister who is in Delhi and she said that for the first time, she is afraid to step out of the house. You never know what happens next. Is this really what it has come to?

20 ...oops 18 questions

I decided to do a tag that has been floating on many blogs since I wanted to think about some answers. Here goes...was fun to do!


1. If your lover betrayed you what will your reaction be?
shock followed by venting my anger followed by moving on.

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?
To find something I love doing which also pays a lot!..hah!

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Rude people - anywhere - on the subway, on the street. Wife beaters, child abusers.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Travel! everywhere...maybe starting with Ecuador.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I think she'll be petrified!

6. Which is more blessed loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone hands down.

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
Not sure what this means - I guess I don't believe in waiting.

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?
Break off contact and move on.

9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?
education

10. What takes you down the fastest?
dumb people and rude people.

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?
happy with hubby, 2 kids and a big beautiful house. And oh yeah, satisfied with work.

12. What's your fear?
Snakes and dark places

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
This cannot be answered - too hard..

14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
shut off the alarm and go back to sleep

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would pick?
The one that loves me back.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Absolutely, no two ways about it.

17. If you could sleep with one celebrity who would it be?
Abhishek Bachchan....sigh!

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
In a relationship any day. I love having someone around to torture!

Cozying up with a cup of tea

I came across this quote today: “Tea is quiet and it takes a quiet palate to appreciate something that calls so little attention to itself.” - James Norwood Pratt in the New Tea Lover’s Treasury. ....and my first thought was that is so true!! I have had a love-hate relation with beverages. Growing up we never had tea, coffee and had limited carbonated drinks. There was no restriction as such but I guess mum just kept us busy with other drinks like lemonade, mango shake, thandai, jal jeera, nishasta (ground almonds and raisins in milk), fresh carrot juice that I guess we never felt the need to have anything else. As a result, today I can't even finish half a can of Pepsi/Coke - it is just too bubbly. I did develop a taste for instant coffee later on but it was like a spoonful of coffee in a glass of milk (I can see all you coffee connoisuers smirking!). When I moved to London (I need to stop using that phrase - feels like I have compartmentalized my life in 3 cities, anyways, I digress), I absolutely abhorred the black coffee you got everywhere and when I didn't understand why would you put cold milk on top as that makes the entire drink cold. I can safely say that my taste of tea and coffee developed only when I started living with S. I am still not a regular drinker of coffee but at least I can now appreciate good coffee and more importantly distinguish between good and bad coffee. Moreover, I am in love with the small cafes in NY and can sit in them for hours (call me for recommendations). When I sink in a comfortable couch in such a cafe with a coffee and a book or a laptop, no one can make me get up for hours. For tea, I have been introduced to a whole new world of mint, jasmine, herb teas which I didn't know existed and tea places which had 300 teas on their menu! I am always trying new flavours and have probably picked up tea from all the countries I have travelled to in the past year including a packet of dried flowers from Prague which suspiciously looked like pot pourri. I am not a big fan of the traditional Indian chai or as S calls it the truckdriver chai, the ginger concoction has definitely provided great comfort during sick days.

Next in my wish list is to buy a colourful tea set with bright coloured mugs and a colourful kettle with a teacozy. As to what will I do with it? Will hope someone more skilled in the kitchen than me can make tea and serve me in it!

Seasons come and seasons go

Whats your favourite season? Mine have changed depending on where I live. In Delhi, it was definitely spring, when the bitter cold of the winter has ended but there is a lovely nip in the air. You can enjoy the sun without getting burnt and you can wear a smart jacket without bundling up. I think it also helped that my birthday is in Feb, S asked me out in Feb so I always associated the month with gorgeous weather and lots of occasions to celebrate! I can't say I had a favourite season in my next city of abode - London as the weather all through the year was dull and grey apart from one week in August if we were lucky. So when I moved to New York, S thought I had been living in the north pole and hadn't seen the sun in years. I would be chirpy on sunny days and would hound him to go out on sunny weekends or find a good spot on our couch which caught the sun and sit there for hours. The good thing about NY is that it is sunny even if it is 20 degrees below zero.

So going back to the topic at hand, my favourite season here was undoubtedly the summer - apart from perfect 20 degree (Celsius) days, there were so many things to do - free concerts in the park, outdoor seating in restaurants, colourful clothes..there is vibrancy in the air! I would be depressed by the time November came for the thought of 6 cold months. However, I have strange spring in the step this year in spite of the cold. I am liking the cool air on my face and looking forward to the festivities of Christmas with the whole city lit up like a Christmas tree. I am looking forward to wearing my woollen skirts and knee high boots. Do you think there is a chance that maybe, just maybe I am adjusted to the weather here finally? Or will I be eating my words in February when the wind hits me and I stop feeling my fingers and face? I don't know but for now I am happy and soaking in the chill in the air.

I leave you with a picture of me sunning myself.

And a happy diwali it was!

Since I whined about Diwali in my previous post, it is only fair I tell you how wonderful my Diwali actually turned out to be. Since diwali was on a Tuesday, we called people over the following Saturday for a diwali dinner.

Tuesday - we lit up diyas all over house and sang aarti along with you tube and I made besan ke laddoo. I have never been an ambitious cook but recently tried my hand at the aforementioned laddoos - small quantity, made about 5 of them but they were really good. Since then I have made these fat-ladden little balls of pleasure twice in a month. Someone really needs to stop me!
Saturday - We had about 15 friends coming over so I made a couple of easy things (read fried potatoes) and bought other things and delegated a few more. We lit lamps again and my bestest friend came over in the evening when we made rangoli all over the house. We had tried our hands at rangoli last year as well and managed a sad looking flower. I think we are getting better every year! We had a great time - everyone enjoyed the food and we played pictionary till late in the night. One of the friends got half a pound of jalebis. Now I love jalebis and haven't been able to find the freshly fried ones you get in Delhi and I must say these ones came pretty close. It is safe to say I had 75% of the said jalebis.
Sunday - After cooking/cleaning the entire day on Saturday, we literally did not get up from the couch all of Sunday. My husband (hence be known as the Mad Scientist or the MS) made scrambled eggs for lunch which we ate while reading the thick New York times in the sun and then lazed around some more. We went for a walk by the river in the evening, found a starbucks and sat there chatting forever.

The weekend was so relaxing and happy that I feel I had a mini vacation and not just 2 days off!

I have a Delhi shaped hole in my heart

The festive season is upon us though you wouldn't feel it looking at the glum faces of people here in New York. I miss home the most during this time as each event starting with navratras, dussehra, Karav chauth, Diwali remind me of home and what we did. Especially Diwali. I miss being in Delhi where there is a buzz in the air this time - shops and homes lit up, people shopping in hordes, firecrackers going off, weather finally starting to turn - not cold yet but a lovely nip in the air. I miss not being able to go to puja pandals during navratras and eat that awesome bhog, not sitting through the dussehra puja after which every room in the house would be cleansed with holy smoke, not being able to fast in a big exuberant group on karva chauth ...just about everything.

I remember we used to wake up early on Diwali to help mum make alpana around the house with natural colors - ground rice for white, turmeric for yellow and roli for red. Then we used to decorate the house with flowers and every year we would think of an innovative way. The living room was set with a dry fruit tray and other yummy stuff decorated for the visitors that would be pouring in all day. The rest of the day is a haze now - don't remember what we did but we used to be excited all day. Preparations used to start for the elaborate puja in the evening with khil, sugar toys, batashas and lots and lots of lamps. We used to light candles all over, one for every room and lots of them in the balcony and the doorway to welcome goddess Lakshmi. After puja we would go down for bursting crackers - very harmless ones, sparklers, fountains and the like. When we were slightly older, I used to go out with my friends for a walk round the block and I remember it was beautiful with all houses lit up and people smiling.

I now try to bring some diwali spirit into my house but it is just not the same. And having a dettached husband doesn't help - he is most supportive of whatever I do and cleans up the house and does everything to help but doesn't really understand why I feel so strongly and why I put in so much effort to decorate the house and call people over etc... We generally have a potluck and I decorate the house with diyas, rangoli and for one evening try to recreate those memories and bring diwali into my house...

End of an era

The reason for my absence has been pure laziness to write combined with shocking events at work. Yes, I work for that Wall Street firm which declared bankruptcy a week back. And I was in Europe on Sunday desperately calling S every one hour to give me updates. I couldn't sleep all night as concerned friends kept calling and msging and finally I decided to go to the airport early and demand that they put me on the first flight to NY. Monday at work was surreal - no one knew what this meant and everyone was packing and writing out goodbye emails and furiously emailing consultants. I felt sad and something more than the fact that I will be unemployed troubled me. It was demise of the firm - it has been my first job out of school and have had a fantastic time here over the last 5 years.

I still feel sad that the name will cease to exist - still not used to saying that I work with Barclays. Don't get me wrong - of course, I was relieved that the acquisition went through. I get to keep my job, still have a source of income and not look out in this bad market. But I will still take time to get over the events of the last week - I feel I haven't had a chance to mourn properly and get it out of my system. I know, sounds really silly, this attachment with an employer who I anyways wanted to leave. But it is the end of an era for me - my first job and my first training ground - which I will always remember with fond memories.

Then I hear that some people are actually happy with this turmoil in the Wall Street as "bankers who didn't deserve to earn all that money deserve this". I was really shocked - a significant percentage of people who work in our building are support staff - admins, cleaners, security - are you really happy that these people may have lost their jobs? Don't you think these 'rich bankers' employ household staff, chauffeurs thereby creating jobs? But above all, how can anyone ever be happy with someone else losing their job? You don't know how many people that person is supporting, what charities he/she may be contributing to. It is sometimes amazing how resentful some people are.

Becoming religious

Today a friend asked me a question which led to considerable introspection. I had called her to ask if she wants to accompany me to an iskcon temple in Brooklyn as it is janamashtami and though she said yes, she also asked "what has happened - why the sudden religious streak?". The question sort of took me aback as I haven't really mentioned anything or done anything religious (known to her) recently. I guess the root of her question was why celebrate the little known festival as being away from home you really tend to focus on holi and diwali and durga puja if you are a bong. She was eerily right -

1. I started my monday fasts. I know it is supposed to get you a good husband and I already have one. However, these fasts help me focus - don't ask me how. My morning puja is slightly longer and I light a diya after I come back home and I feel good about it. Also I believe little pain (hunger?) is good for the soul.
2. I did think a bit about janamashtami this year, though past 5 year the festival has come and gone without me even realizing. I actually made besan ke laddoo to offer as prasad as I wanted to do something to mark the day.

Now coming to the key question - why? I thought about it and I think it is because of my job. I have been so frustrated with my work lately and as I have complained before I can't move because of visa issues. So I needed to clear all the negative aspects from my mind and focus on positives - that it has been a lovely summer, I love my husband, my house, have a great group of friends to hang out with. In short, life outside of work has been really great. Praying helps me focus and think clearly. I decided that if nothing gets decided within the next 2 months, I am going to leave my job and chill for a bit - take cake decorating classes, go to India etc. I know the economy sucks etc but I have to take a risk to do what I want to do. There is no second way about it.

The second reason for this sudden enthusiasm towards janamashtami I think is because is was a big deal when we were growing up. My sister and I used to decorate the jhanki (tableau) depicting parts of kishan leela. We had and idol of vasudev carrying baby kishna which used to be placed over a blue painted river, some toy animals which used to be placed on a patch of sand to depict forest and a mirror to show a pond. All our god idols were also placed there completed with a baby kishna on a jhoola. Everyone used to gather around to pray in the evening. Ma and Pa used to fast for the day and go to the temple at 12am to get prasad. Before that around 4pm teatime we used to be served fruit chat and lemonade - don't remember why but this used to happen every janamashtami. Now for most years living abroad, I wasn't really sure how to mark this festival. However, when recently a friend mentioned this iskcon temple, a light bulb went in my head - this was the perfect way! Apparently the temple is not far, easily accessible by subway and is really beautiful. I am looking forward to it!

10 Things I did this summer

• Walked across the brooklyn bridge, waited for pizza at Grimaldi's, had icecream from brooklyn ice factory in the meantime, admired the manhattan skyline from the other side and walked back in perfect weather. Better description here and here.
• Had burgers at Shake shack in Madison square park (I love these!) and ambled over to listen to a brazilian jazz performance. Great weather, good company and excellent background music. Wrote about it here.
• Spent girl time - this is a big deal for me as it has been really really long since I have had a close girl friend living in the same city. But one of my closest friends moved to NYC last year and this summer I went shopping with her, we met up for brunch and went for Mama Mia, very girly day and I had a fantastic time! There is something very freeing about talking to a person who already knows you so well that nothing is out of bounds.
• Dark Knight - I know it is just a movie and I saw countless others over the summer but I have to document this one. I absolutely loved it and it is something since I usually don't like superhero or 'violent' movies but as I try to explain to everyone - it hardly falls into any of those categories. The psychological aspect on which the movie works is far above most of the movies I have seen (admittedly haven't seen Silence of the Lambs - too scared) and the dialogues are phenomenal. " Either you die a hero....or u live long enough to see yourself turn into a Villan... " - oh totally cool!
• Went for Pilobolus - S' university gave us free tickets for a show and to be honest we had no idea what it was. Somehow none of us got time to read much about it either so we went a little anxious after our Burlesque experience. The first act was weird - less dance and more facial expressions by which they were trying to convey something which I totally didn't get and told S that we will leave after act 2 if it doesn't get better. But boy, did it get better. The gravity defying dance that the link talks about started and we were pretty much spell bound for rest of the show. How do they do it!
• Attended a wedding in Breckenridge, which is a ski resort in Denver. It was beautiful - the wedding was outside and the backdrop was snow covered peaks. Met up with with old school friends, went for long drives in the mountains, did a mini trek. Managed to pack in quite a bit in the 3-day memorial day weekend! The town itself was beautiful and very European with cobbled streets (I love these!) and small cafes. Our room was like a ski lodge with a fireplace and heavy wood furniture. We had crepes for breakfast in one of the cafes down the road from our hotel. One evening as we set out to explore town, we discovered these tiny stands selling waffles and crepes with a small fire lit around which you could gather and eat those choc dripping delicacies. It was perfect!
• Tried new restaurants - ilili, Himalayan café, Angon, Indian Bread co., Popover café, Hudson hotel bar, ayurveda café, Barrio Chino, Grimaldis, Supper. Ideally, I should have posted the reviews of all these places here but have been too lazy. If I had to recommend one, it'll probably be Ilili - we went here for restaurant week and rarely have I found such an excellent combination of food, ambience and service. The place is quite big by manahattan standards so you are not jostling for room with your next door neighbour. I still remember the fresh from the oven pita. While it is too expensive for me to go here outside of restaurant week - I would definitely recommend you to make reservations early for the winter restaurant week. Oh - for anyone missing the Delhi University momos - Himalyan café is the place for you.
• La Bayadere Ballet performance - One of my friends booked the tickets for this perfromance at the Lincoln center and I just went along. I am glad I did. La Bayadere which means Temple Dancer is a Russian ballet based on an Indian story. It seemed like a hindi movie with colourful costumes, melodrama n all just that everyone was doing ballet - it was beautiful!
• Went to Bahamas - while this in no way is a ranked list, Bahamas still comes relatively low in the list as we realized that we are done with beach-y vacations. There were 2 lessons learnt from this trip - one, there is only so much lying on the beach doing nothing I can take. I started craving activity after day 2 and there weren't many walking spots in this country and two, I don't have the palate to appreciate fresh seafood if it is served without much seasoning. We found a local joint famous for Bahamian dishes and as fresh as it can get seafood. My bong husband gobbled up the steamed fish they served while I craved for more salt, more pepper, possibly even chili powder and garam masala on mine! :)
• Walked - I know I am ashamed that I am scrambling to put down 10 things but there are so many small things which I had fun doing which I am not sure count for one whole point in this list. Like the time we went to a friends house for dinner on the upper east time and had a great time. Anyway, I digress - so I love walking and given how lazy S is I usually have to drag him even to walk 2 blocks. However, this summer we walked all over the city - maybe because it didn't get oppressively hot and the intermittent rains kept the weather just perfect. We had plenty of after dinner walks, after brunch walks, evening walks and no purpose walks! NYC is one of the best places for people watching and the city comes to life in the summer. Every bit of sidewalk gets converted to 'outdoor seating' for restaurants and you can get to know what is the in-thing this summer by simple people watching around the park. Of course - this summer it was dresses (just when I managed to complete my skirt collection!) and gladiator sandals.

Bachelor Night out

Why do I only feel like writing when I am drunk? So today the weather was really nice and since it was a summer friday, I didn't feel like working at all. I left early and met up with the lone girlfriend I have in the city for dinner. It was so much fun chatting up with her. We went to this really nice coffee place after dinner and chatted till midnight. Then I took her to one of my friends place where there was sort of a mini party going on and everyone was drunk! It was so much fun being the only sober ones and watching everyone making a fool of themselves!! However, it didn't last long as we had four tequilla shots in quick succession and soon we were buzzed too. It was a lot of fun just cracking silly jokes, laughing at nothing at all and helping other drunk people lying all over the house. I didn't mention earlier that S wasn't there as he had to work and he encouraged me to go alone. I realized that I need to go out alone sometimes as though I missed S, it was kind of fun being single for sometime. There is a Europe trip I have been planning to go alone on that I have been having second thoughts on, though after today I think I might go.

Friendships

I have been thinking about friendships recently due to this post as I can totally relate to the first line - I always take my friendships too seriously. I guess since moving out of the house, I have felt slightly distanced from my family and therefore, I leaned on friends. Fortunately, I was lucky to have great people around me who cared for me immensely and were always there for me.
The first memory of making friends I have is in our colony, simply because they were my age group and lived in the same building so we spent evenings playing all kind of silly games, running all over the colony, learning cycling together, climbing one tree and fighting for which branch we will lie on, trying to eat shahtoot (don't know the english for this!) fallen off a huge tree. During summer vacations we would spent the whole day together trying to build brick bridges on puddles of water accumulated from rain, playing ghar-ghar, climbing atop car garages, choreographing various hindi movie songs (don't know why!), enacting out plays and fairy tales (I remember acting out Rapunzel quite clearly). As we grew, we studied for boards together, discussed our first crush, first kiss..all the juicy details! These are the friends I still am most comfortable with - even if we meet after long, there are no awkward silences and we can start off where we left. Recently during one of the said friends visit, I was surprised how quickly we were discussing intimate details of our lives...it is just so easy to open my heart with them.
My later school years and college friends seem kind of fleeting now - we were close then and had some great times together, however, I haven't been able to keep in touch with them. I also felt since we were all preparing for CAT, somehow a sense of competition kind of took away the closeness we shared. I also realized that if I feel betrayed by a friend, I don't forgive easily, something which I am still working on. In college, I found out that a person who I considered very close had taken offence at something I had said and instead of confronting me about it, she sort of bitched about it to someone else. I have never been really able to pick up threads from tha friendship again, which I really regret.
Business school friends hold a special place in my heart as one of the reason I survived staying away from home, dealing with the growing distance I felt with my family was them. We stayed up nights working together or just chatting, shared in the stress and misery and the exhilaration of each others achievements. I met people completely different from me and still got along. I had bitter fights with one of my friends such that he wouldn't talk to me for days, both of us completely did not and still do not get each other, however, still deeply cared for each other. This friend would drop me home in the middle of the night when we were later working in London just so I am safe even if he had to crash at a friends house and sleep on the floor. Another friend flew in to Delhi from Bombay just for my wedding even though we almost hadn't been in touch for a year. Another guy who I barely knew in b-school went on to become one of the closest friends in London. He would come over whenever I was feeling lonely and blue telling me he was only there because I cook well! He is a father now to a handsome young boy.
Which gets me to New York and how it has been difficult to make close friends. I have tons of friends here and hang out every weekend with a different set of people. However, there is none I would call if I am sad - maybe because S fullfills my emotional needs or maybe because it is difficult to develop those kinds of bonds once you are out of school. I have also realized I look for people who are fun, sport to do anything, can hold an intellectual conversation and feel there are very few people who fit that - maybe says a lot about the company I keep! I feel I now have less tolerance for people who are not courteous or don't have basic manners - am done putting up with rudeness or childish politics.
Luckily, communication across continents is easier now and I have friends sprinkled around the world from various stages of my life who are just a phone call away and talking to them always leaves me with a warm, fuzzy feeling even if it after six months or a year.

Running in the rain

We had another nice weekend and the best part was Saturday was sort of unplanned. We met Mukul for dinner at this really cool wine bar called Supper - it was the discovery of the day! We had to wait but the brick wall, dimly lit ambiance, excellent wine selection and food that smacked of fresh ingredients made my evening. Plus we had a nice chat with M about his stories of the India trip...potential plans of moving to India...sigh! No one will be left in this city soon. Anyway so after dinner some people were supposed to come over to our house for a drinks and chat session, however, it was lovely spring weather outside so we decided to go to a rooftop bar instead. We waited in line for some time but rain dramatically lowered the value of the rooftop so we ran to another bar - this was my favourite part of the evening - running in the rain!! We were 9 of us so there was utter confusion on where we have to go, umbrellas were in short supply so all of us were literally running in the rain like a bunch of kids enjoying first showers after really hot summer day!! I felt really free and reminded me of Delhi summer when we would go`out and enjoy the first monsoon rain. It was just nice to let go....and the phenomenal weather added to my exhilaration. To many more such evenings!

42 Mile Bike Tour - we did it!!

S and I are a very lazy couple. As a result we are super unfit with our annual exercize limited to running 3.5 miles in the central park for the JP Morgan Challenge every June. So this year when we registered for the 42-mile 5-borough NYC bike tour, I was convinced we are not going to finish it. We had signed up more for fun to see how it goes. We didn't get any time to train somehow and we ended up biking for 2 days before the actual. So you can understand my complete shock when we actually did finish it...in 6 hours including all the rest stops and wait times. We woke up bright and early as the line-up for the tour was supposed to start at 6:30 am. We reached battery park at 7:30 am and though waking up that early on a sunday was a big pain, once there it was exciting to be a part of the big crowd. There was a buzz in the air! We finally started biking at 8:40 am and it was amazing to bike up an absolutely empty 6th avenue, to pass west 4th - an area we frequent often but unrecognizable without traffic at that hour. We had decided that we would stop before the queensborough bridge, however when we reached there neither of us was so tired and we trooped ahead. I think the next decision point came near the Brooklyn Bridge where we again stopped and mulled over if we should stop and go back, however, since the mile marker said only 10 miles left, we decided to finish it. I am not sure if this decision was a good one as it was the toughest 10 miles of the race.

The surprising part was that though we did it with minimal training, my legs didn't hurt as much the next day....maybe am in not such a bad shape after all...

Uncertainty and Confusion

I am at a place right now where the next 6-9 months are very uncertain. I don't know how things will shape up at my job, whether I will be in this country, when will S finish his phd ... these are too many uncertainties for me to feel happy. You see, I like to plan in advance so I know when I have to do what and this is exactly the kind of situation that makes me very uncomfortable. I am stuck in a job and want to do something else, however, can't do anything about it for many reasons including visa ones. I am sure I have mentioned this on the blog as I have whined about it to everyone I know. But then I think that maybe I should be thankful that I have a job given what has happened. Moreover, since I really can't do anything about the situation, I should just be patient and wait for things to unfold over the next 6 months. In between I have a wedding to attend in Denver and a trip to Bahamas which right now feels like meh, another beach. You ask why did I plan the trip - again, because both of us need to get our visas renewed and have to go outside the country.

Btw I am still thinking about the glass ceiling issue and one thing that came to me was just because we don't see something in our immediate surrounding doesn't mean it doesn't exist. I think thats where most of my (guy) friends are coming from when they declare glass ceiling doesn't exist.

The glass ceiling - thinking clearly

Hello there - so today was one of the evenings when I had very low expectations of how it would be and it turned out to be surprisingly fun. We had kathi rolls for dinner and then went to a Scottish pub where they were celebrating Tartan day and had a really cool band with bagpipes n all playing. We were the only Indians among a lot of drunk scotts (many of then in kilts) and it was really good fun. We then ended up in a coffee shop in Times Square (long story!) and the conversation turned to glass ceiling, whether women should be paid less for maternity leave. This post is mainly to clarify issues in my head and understand how I feel about them.

Issue 1: The first time I felt I was being treated differently because I was a girl was in management school where there was almost a pre-conceived notion that girls there were mainly to fill the "quota" rather than their ability. Some guys were told by seniors not to take girls in their group as "girls don't work". These subtle notions used to (and still do) irritate the hell out of me. It is also sad that such judgements were made by educated adults about to enter and be leaders in corporate India.

This issue is interesting as I also met some great, intelligent people at the b-school who went on to become close friends and I can never imagine them being so small-minded or sexist. Maybe these were thoughts of only a handful and I generalized then as I was so mad when I heard these comments for the first time.

Issue 2: When I was interviewing with my current boss, he knew that I was going to get married and that was one of the reasons I wanted to move to New York. I heard from one of my colleagues later that he thought that I may slack off after I get married or may want to have kids and then may not work etc etc.

Obviously when I first heard it, it again surprised me that people think like this in the 21st century (yeah, I do live in my own ideal world). But then I guess first, he gave me the job and second, he has been a great boss and I have never felt any glass ceiling (maybe I am too junior to feel this anyway).

Issue 3: maternity leave - my rationalist friends put forward the argument that women should not expect the usual compensation and promotion when they are absent from work for 3 months in a particular year for maternity leave as someone else is doing their work and therefore, from an employers perspective it is totally justified to divide the proceeds according to the work done so to say.

I have issue with this thinking on many levels. I believe thinking about this issue in pure economic terms is simplifying the issue a lot and here is why -

• Talent retention: Assuming the women has been a good worker before she decided to have a baby, it is in company's interest to retain her. Measuring her purely on the basis of the contribution she made in that particular year when she had to take maternity leave and somehow reflecting this in either lower pay or delay in her promotion is discouraging her. This also assumes that she will not be contributing enough in the following year when she is back and reflects a very short term view from the employers perspective. This is ultimately not sustainable as some other firm will recognize that talent in this competitive world we live in today. I don't think those 3 months or that particular year should be the basis for judging her competence or contribution at all - remember in economics, value is always sum of future cash flows.
• I feel firms/companies/employers don't exist in an island by themselves. They are a part of the society and as a result they have some social responsibility. If somehow nature has decided it is a women who is supposed to procreate and is responsible for adding additional members to the society, then it is the company's social responsibility to help this. By creating disincentives, you are creating too much disparity between women who choose to have a baby and those who don't and this is not sustainable from a society's perspective. My friends argued that women can choose not to have a baby if they are ambitious. My point is that this shouldn't be a choice. If a man takes a months leave to look after a sick wife, could you argue that he shouldn't have married because some or the other kind of responsibility always comes with marriage??
• This is really a continuation of the previous point, but why else do employers organize family picnics, or sponsor a family holiday etc. Or even at a basic level, provide health care, in some cases housing. Because they realize that happy employees are necessary for the success of the company and firms cannot run cut and dry like machines purely on economic principles. Family responsibility is a very real part of life and though child rearing is fully the responsibility of the parents, the employers have some contribution too. Why do you have emergency daycare at work otherwise??

Issue 4: Glass ceiling - now this was interesting as most of my guy friends refused to acknowledge it exists!

I discussed this with my mother and since she is a senior manager in Railways, she has seen workplace for women change over the last 20 years. Her first response was "how do they know?"! Get me one working women to say it doesn't exists. However, this is again not a black and white issue -

• It doesn't exist everywhere obviously and it is changing. My mother told me women weren't considered for DRM (Divisional Railway Manager) earlier and that has changed completely now. It may not exist in Pepsi who has a woman CEO but it may exist elsewhere.
• I think we all talk from our immediate perspectives - at my level in my firm I feel it is absolute meritocracy and I have never felt I was being denied anything because of my gender. However, I have been to meetings where senior women complain about how my firm has the least % of women managing directors on wall street.
• The selection bias may not exist in research where I work but it may exist in trading as there are barely any women there.
• I think in most of these discussions, my point was not that glass ceiling exists everywhere but I think it is important for us to acknowledge that is does exist even if we haven't seen it in our immediate surroundings . We can hope it is now shrinking and be aware of any sub-conscious biases/stereotypes we may have. A classic example of this sub-conscious bias is when sales people call research and a women answers the phone, they assume it is an assistant!!!

Wine, music and old friends...

My childhood friend (Lets call her N) finally landed in NYC last week and I have been having a blast re-living all the memories. Me, N and another friend S who grew up in the same building spent a night chatting over wine exchanging notes on relationships, husbands, feminism, in-laws, old times, new life. I don't think I'll ever be as comfortable sharing and baring myself with anyone else but N&S. It was wonderful to catch up and realize how different we have grown up as individuals and yet how easy it is to understand each other. N is definitely the more sensible, calm person and her general sense of fairness and balanced view of the world gets maginifed against my short temper. More laidback and capable of always understanding the other person's point of view even if she doesn't agree. I realized how much I love her and missed talking to her and no one could ever replace the kind of comfort you feel when with old friends.

Last night we had plans to go clubbing with our respective hubbies, but heavy rains played truant and we decided to drink and party at home instead. Am I glad it happened as it was a memorable night with some great conversation. A&D joined us as well and after a few drinks conversation turned to religion and politics. It was so much fun discussing and arguing that I realized recently I had been missing these intellectual conversations. Everyone had widely different opinions and everyone was fighting tooth and nail to defend their's with N and I throwing understanding glances at each other and rolling our eyes at what hubbies just said. Maybe I have been hanging out with the wrong people but I had started to feel that we talk about the most inane things and I usually end the evening feeling that it was a waste of time. Moreover, some people have been really, let me say, not so polite recently and I started wondering if I need all this negativity in my life. However I digress. Coming back to N, we had a grand time last night with cocktails, music and really good company. It was awesome getting to know N's hubby a little better. I'd move lock, stock and barrel to Singapore if only to have more such cozy and delightlfully fun evenings like yesterday!

Jodha Akbar

I absolutely loved it!!! Or let me just say that I loved some parts of the movie so much that I am willing to overlook some of the bad points like the length, the cliches and some of the acting. I think after a long time we have a movie where the two lead characters actually take their own sweet time to fall in love. I love the langurous pace of dialogues in the scenes between Akbar and Jodha, the way he apologizes for sending her to her parents house, the way sometimes they are shown to sit with each other without the need to talk, the way she introduces him to her customs (sindoor!). I loved the picturization of the Jashn-e-bahara song, I think I'll be playing it on loop for the next several days. I love how there are conversations where one side is speaking in pure marwari hindi and the other side in refined urdu. I love the sniggets of history inserted in, like the first 30 mins which is essentially taking us through the rise of Akbar to the discussions on taxes and religion. I actually googled and read a lot on Akbar last night - very interesting to see how secular he was. After a long time I had a happy feeling in me after watching the movie. I could have just sat there longer seeing Akbar and Jodha fall in love. I don't want to compare it to Mughl-e-azam which was a much purer love story, but the pace of the love scenes reminded me of that classic.

This is not a review but just some random thoughts on the movie. I don't think I can ever be a good reviewer as I am too involved in the movie while watching it. I am still starry eyed and can't snap out of the movie - feels like I am 15 again!

Healthy Living

I have always believed that my eating habits are very healthy and that is one of the reasons why I have been naturally slim. This is obviously not true always but has been for most of my adult life. Whenever I feel I have put on weight, I can generally control my diet and slim down. I give the entire credit for my eating habits to my mother and I want to share some of the main things she followed which still serve me well.

• Plenty of fruits: I always remember eating plenty of fruits and always seasonal. The time for fruits was always in the evening with a glass of milk. Though at that time some fruits were considered a luxury, for example grapes were expensive and we didn't get them frequently, I think we have pretty much tasted everything. Even in winters, which has less variety than the summer bounty of mangoes and melons, I remember eating strawberries, apples, oranges, guavas, shakarkandi (sweet potato). I feel this was a very important habit mum put in us as I have met people who don't eat fruits or who don't like them and I don't understand it.
• No paranthas for breakfast: I came to know much later that parantha was a staple breakfast item in many households as we always had a glass of milk and one of following: eggs and toast, toast with paneer filling, poha, rice noodles or something along those lines. Paranthas which are effectively fried in ghee were always dinner and never frequent. This is not to say we were deprived or anything, I remember eating 4 parathas when mum introduced us to paneer paranthas for the first time!! I think she just inculcated an understanding of what things should be had in moderation.
• No snacking: This was not a formal rule in the house or anything, just that I don't remember our kitchen was ever stocked with store bought biscuits, namkeens etc. So when hungry, we always had fruits, home baked cookies or bread with home made jam/jelly. As a result, now I can't eat too much namkeen as it feels 'heavy'.
• Soda: Again, our house was never perpetually stocked with pepsi/coke. I remember we used to get a crate of sodas at the beginnning of our summer vacation which used to last around 3-4 months. So we got to have the carbonated drinks but not too much and I anyway took more to lemonade, rooafza and other non-carbonated stuff. I still can't finish a bottle of coke.

The reason I got thinking was a friend recently joined a gym to lose weight. They gave her all kinds of books and charts showing nutritional value of all food types and some of the things she mentioned seemed quite strange to me. I feel with all these nutritionists and dieticians obsessed with making us slim, they have to come up with new things every once in a while to justify their pay and in all these fancy calorie charts, we have forgotten the old wisdom, which I believe is still true. The two things that I have heard recently particularly got my goat -

• Not all lentils are good: When we were young, our science books told us lentils are a rich source of protein, however it seems somewhere along the way it stopped being true. I have heard some people say that not all lentils are good, or xyz lentil is fattening and I truly think this is nonsense. We always have one lentil along with subzi for dinner. As long you don't throw away the water you boil the daal in, I think they are a rich source of proteins and good carbohydrates.
• Bananas and grapes are fattening: This is another myth created by the above mentioned nutritionists. I think the amount of carbs in all the fruits are the same as you need to digest them so in all they are carb neutral. Moreover, fruits have so many other benefits that to be honest I won't mind eating them even if they have some carbs in them. I cannot believe that any fruit can actually be harmful to you and you can put on weight by say eating a peach. My mum actually recommends that people with sedentary lifesyles should have fruits for one of the meals and don't be shy with the quantity so eat as much as it takes to fill you!

Ok, just for the disclaimer, I hold no formal degree in this nor have I read any books. This are just things that have worked for me.

Has it already been 2 years?

It was our anniversary this week so I took half day off from work to spend some quality time with hubby. Unfortunately, my runny nose was followed by fever so we had to cancel our dinner reservation and anniversary was spent sleeping. S made quiche for dinner and a peach cobbler for dessert - doesn't it look very professional. It was awesome and could give any pie shop stiff competition. I, of course, just melted in a big pile of mush on the floor!

ps: I realized that the title doesn't have anything to do with the post, but who cares, it is my blog!!

Is work your life?

I feel very strongly about work-life balance issue but have never organized my thoughts and so this is my attempt to put this in writing. I have worked in London and New York for about equal lengths of time and therefore, have been exposed two very different mentalities in terms of how people view time off from work and needless to say, I totally admire Britishers for their clarity of thought. Let me start with basics, in London I had 26 days of paid leave, whereas in New York, I have 15 days. I don't think the number of days are as strictly followed and it depends on your desk (I think traders need to take mandatory 2 weeks off in some places), your manager, how busy work is in a particular year etc. When I was working in London, I guess I was lucky to be in a team where senior managers had very clear boundaries about balancing life with work. They all took their days off, helped to cover for colleagues who wanted to take time off and we never worked late. I can never forget that my boss once told me as we were wrapping up at 7:30 pm that 'this culture of working late is not good and tomorrow we should finish by 6'!! I was taken aback given I was fresh out of school and had heard horror stories about i-bank hours! Once one of my managers asked me if I needed time off to go home to India as it didn't seem like I had taken any holidays in a long time! Let me qualify by saying that this was a top ranked team and we were very productive. Don't get me wrong, life wasn't a party, we worked hard and I guess everyone knew unsaid rules like everyone can't take off at the same time and you can't take off during some busy times in a year etc.



Now when I was moving to NYC, everyone told me the US is much more competitive and hard and forget about even using the 15 days you get or going home at 6pm. With this background, I was more determined to set boundaries as I don't believe in face time at all. I will stay at work as long as I need to to finish my work but not a minute more. Luckily, I got a manager who was like-minded (yeah, I know, I am probably jinxing it as we speak!). However, I did notice the culture difference. Americans feel proud to tell their colleagues that they haven't taken a single day off in the year, whereas a similar statement in the UK would've met with "don't you have a life?"! One person told me he didn't take a single day off in the first 5 years of his career and my only (unsaid) reaction was why? It doesn't sound like a very smart thing to do in my books. In general the culture is more individualistic as people don't want to be 'out of touch' for long for fear of a colleague gaining ground in their absence. In UK, everyone seemed comfortable that a team member is covering for them.


Anyway, I don't know why the rant because I am quite happy with my work life balance as my manager is an angel in that aspect. And some of my friends who curse me everytime I take off will testify to this. I guess I feel strongly about very few things. I am more the laidback person and had to rack my brains when someone asked me what are you passionate about but thats the subject of another post.

Here n There

Long time no post? Mainly because I have nothing new to say. My life has settled back into the usual rigmarole. Work is boring with a capital B, conversations revolve around the presidential cycle and since it is freezing cold, weekends are spent at home watching movies and eating (which reminds me of all the weight that I have put on). The presidential debates started by being a lot of fun btw - as one of the friends said, seem like glorified version of Indian politicians addressing villages and promising things they would forget the minute they are in the seat. However, they just seem to go on and on now. They are not going to select a presidential candidate till August and that just means there'll be nothing to watch on TV for the next six months. One of my childhood friends - we were neighbours and grew up together king of friend - is coming to NYC in March so that is something to look forward to. Oh - actually my birthday is in the middle but there is no longer that happy anticipation I used to feel as a kid - ah, growing old. One good thing that happened was that I figured I want to do an interior design course. Let me put some background to this - I have been thinking of doing something creative outside of work, to not waste time watching TV and this something should be what I like doing, and would love to learn more about. So it came to be suddenly like a bulb going in my head on a day I was home sick, that I would love to do a course in interior design. I love decorating my house - when I come back from India, half my suitcase is full of home decoration stuff. This time I actually got a beautiful cover stitched for our Ikea futon mattress because I want to have low seating in our living room. So anyways, I am still finding about the kind of courses offered etc but am excited about learning something new and creative - hope this fad lasts!

Goodbye 2007

Everyone seems to be doing lists on why 2007 was a good/bad year for them and this forced me to think too. I feel happy with the way 2007 treated me. I don't know why but when I look at 2007 from 20000 feet above the sea level, I find I was contented and happy through most of 2007 so I decided to pin down specific reasons and record milestones.

• I finished the CFA which means my weekends in spring will finally be free for me to enjoy the sunshine!
• My mum and sis were here for a whole month over the summer and we had a ball. Since I have moved out of the house (6 years back :(), I have found it hard to get along with both of them and have started finding small things irritating especially so with my sister which probably reflects a bigger problem I have with her. But coming back to the topic at hand, I feel S really helped me keep my calm and also gave me an outlet to vent when I had to. I felt I really connected back with my sister after a long time and it was really nice. I called my friends over a couple of times when mum was here and one such 'high tea' get together was tremendous fun with samosas, tikki, chai and my friends forcing my mother to play pictionary!
• My social life improved dramatically. I felt 2006 was a year of trying. Since I had moved to the US towards the end of 2005, I felt I was trying to get to know more people, make friends in 2006. However, 2007 I felt a level of comfort with the people and I also got to know many many more people. Lot of my friends got married and I got to make some girlfriends finally! One of the said spouse is especially a lot of fun - D, I love you!
• Moving on - I have always been the one to keep trying to keep in touch, making international calls to friends who would never think of returning them. So 2007 was a year of moving on. I stopped calling friends who never called me back.
• Traveling!!!!! The love of my life. In 2007, I dragged S everywhere - we went to Peru, San Francisco, Prague and aptly ending the year with a 3-week break in India. Peru was our first vacation in which we did proper hiking, climbed some really steep mountains and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I also went to Miami earlier in the year with my wonderful London friends. It was especially nice catching up with A (still can't believe he is a father now!).
• My 3-week break in India deserves a separate bullet point. I visited my father after a long time and spend a lot of time with my in-laws. Btw I love my in-laws, they are the most affectionate people on the earth. I slept on the same bed with my sister which we shared for 20 years after a very very long time and was surprised to find how much nostalgia can a piece of furniture generate.
• Work in the year was less than perfect. I did get new stuff to do but towards the end of the year, I started to feel bored. In my defence, I have been doing the same thing for 4 years. I want to do something else but my opportunity set is limited because of visa issues so lets hope I can find something I like. On the positive side, I reached out to some senior people in my firm for advise and was surprised to find how forthcoming and helpful everyone was.
• Saving the best for the last, S. I fell more in love with him in 2007, from wanting to go out every weekend for bruch, coffee and dinner, I now look forward to just lying with him with a cup of coffee and newspaper. I find it odd to say that 2007 bought a certain kind of comfort to the relationship, given we had dated for 6 years before getting married. However, 4 of those years were long distance and first 2 years we were college kids. I have given him a really hard time in the past, especially when I just moved to New York and the way he stood beside me, supporting me with patience is a testament to what a wonderful person he is.