Thoughts on the Mumbai incident

• I have been glued to my computer over the last 3 days reading as much as I can on the Mumbai attacks as pundits analyze, city residents reminisce the good times and Indians everywhere mourn the attacks. The more I read, the more helpless and pessimistic I feel. There is the same sense of outrage after every incident and then we go back to our usual humbug existence. But what choice do we have, what can we do? I don't know but I am looking for answers. I don't think the incidence will mean our politicians will wake up or even overhaul our intelligence agency. As things settle down, we will not remember about the modernization of forces, the need to get them proper bullet proof vest, until something else happens.
• We were in Vegas over the Thanksgiving weekend but ended up being stuck to TV for almost the entire Thursday, thankful that CNN had chosen to cover it live rather than ignore it like other non-US news. Even after, I felt vaguely guilty going out and enjoying myself when a crisis was going on in my country. I felt I am expressing my solidarity by tracking it on the news, don't ask me why.
• People have asked me if I am still going ahead with my India plans, specifically Mumbai. Of course I am!! In fact I want to there sooner and for longer. I feel the need to touch the air, breathe it, fell the same things my friends and family are feeling there. The thought of cancelling the trip didn't even cross my mind. We will be there and visit the Taj and travel in a train and do anything to show solidarity. If I wanted to move back to India for good sometime in the future before the incident, I want to even more now. It is my country and I signed up to stand by its side in good and bad times. The attack has brought out some emotions in me which I didn't know existed.
• I spoke to my sister who is in Delhi and she said that for the first time, she is afraid to step out of the house. You never know what happens next. Is this really what it has come to?

20 ...oops 18 questions

I decided to do a tag that has been floating on many blogs since I wanted to think about some answers. Here goes...was fun to do!


1. If your lover betrayed you what will your reaction be?
shock followed by venting my anger followed by moving on.

2. If you could have one dream come true which one would it be?
To find something I love doing which also pays a lot!..hah!

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
Rude people - anywhere - on the subway, on the street. Wife beaters, child abusers.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
Travel! everywhere...maybe starting with Ecuador.

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
I think she'll be petrified!

6. Which is more blessed loving someone or being loved by someone?
Being loved by someone hands down.

7. How long would you wait for someone you love?
Not sure what this means - I guess I don't believe in waiting.

8. If the person you like is secretly attached, what would you do?
Break off contact and move on.

9. If you could root for one social cause which one would it be?
education

10. What takes you down the fastest?
dumb people and rude people.

11. Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?
happy with hubby, 2 kids and a big beautiful house. And oh yeah, satisfied with work.

12. What's your fear?
Snakes and dark places

13. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?
This cannot be answered - too hard..

14. What is the first thing you do when you wake up?
shut off the alarm and go back to sleep

15. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously who would pick?
The one that loves me back.

16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Absolutely, no two ways about it.

17. If you could sleep with one celebrity who would it be?
Abhishek Bachchan....sigh!

18. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
In a relationship any day. I love having someone around to torture!

Cozying up with a cup of tea

I came across this quote today: “Tea is quiet and it takes a quiet palate to appreciate something that calls so little attention to itself.” - James Norwood Pratt in the New Tea Lover’s Treasury. ....and my first thought was that is so true!! I have had a love-hate relation with beverages. Growing up we never had tea, coffee and had limited carbonated drinks. There was no restriction as such but I guess mum just kept us busy with other drinks like lemonade, mango shake, thandai, jal jeera, nishasta (ground almonds and raisins in milk), fresh carrot juice that I guess we never felt the need to have anything else. As a result, today I can't even finish half a can of Pepsi/Coke - it is just too bubbly. I did develop a taste for instant coffee later on but it was like a spoonful of coffee in a glass of milk (I can see all you coffee connoisuers smirking!). When I moved to London (I need to stop using that phrase - feels like I have compartmentalized my life in 3 cities, anyways, I digress), I absolutely abhorred the black coffee you got everywhere and when I didn't understand why would you put cold milk on top as that makes the entire drink cold. I can safely say that my taste of tea and coffee developed only when I started living with S. I am still not a regular drinker of coffee but at least I can now appreciate good coffee and more importantly distinguish between good and bad coffee. Moreover, I am in love with the small cafes in NY and can sit in them for hours (call me for recommendations). When I sink in a comfortable couch in such a cafe with a coffee and a book or a laptop, no one can make me get up for hours. For tea, I have been introduced to a whole new world of mint, jasmine, herb teas which I didn't know existed and tea places which had 300 teas on their menu! I am always trying new flavours and have probably picked up tea from all the countries I have travelled to in the past year including a packet of dried flowers from Prague which suspiciously looked like pot pourri. I am not a big fan of the traditional Indian chai or as S calls it the truckdriver chai, the ginger concoction has definitely provided great comfort during sick days.

Next in my wish list is to buy a colourful tea set with bright coloured mugs and a colourful kettle with a teacozy. As to what will I do with it? Will hope someone more skilled in the kitchen than me can make tea and serve me in it!

Seasons come and seasons go

Whats your favourite season? Mine have changed depending on where I live. In Delhi, it was definitely spring, when the bitter cold of the winter has ended but there is a lovely nip in the air. You can enjoy the sun without getting burnt and you can wear a smart jacket without bundling up. I think it also helped that my birthday is in Feb, S asked me out in Feb so I always associated the month with gorgeous weather and lots of occasions to celebrate! I can't say I had a favourite season in my next city of abode - London as the weather all through the year was dull and grey apart from one week in August if we were lucky. So when I moved to New York, S thought I had been living in the north pole and hadn't seen the sun in years. I would be chirpy on sunny days and would hound him to go out on sunny weekends or find a good spot on our couch which caught the sun and sit there for hours. The good thing about NY is that it is sunny even if it is 20 degrees below zero.

So going back to the topic at hand, my favourite season here was undoubtedly the summer - apart from perfect 20 degree (Celsius) days, there were so many things to do - free concerts in the park, outdoor seating in restaurants, colourful clothes..there is vibrancy in the air! I would be depressed by the time November came for the thought of 6 cold months. However, I have strange spring in the step this year in spite of the cold. I am liking the cool air on my face and looking forward to the festivities of Christmas with the whole city lit up like a Christmas tree. I am looking forward to wearing my woollen skirts and knee high boots. Do you think there is a chance that maybe, just maybe I am adjusted to the weather here finally? Or will I be eating my words in February when the wind hits me and I stop feeling my fingers and face? I don't know but for now I am happy and soaking in the chill in the air.

I leave you with a picture of me sunning myself.

And a happy diwali it was!

Since I whined about Diwali in my previous post, it is only fair I tell you how wonderful my Diwali actually turned out to be. Since diwali was on a Tuesday, we called people over the following Saturday for a diwali dinner.

Tuesday - we lit up diyas all over house and sang aarti along with you tube and I made besan ke laddoo. I have never been an ambitious cook but recently tried my hand at the aforementioned laddoos - small quantity, made about 5 of them but they were really good. Since then I have made these fat-ladden little balls of pleasure twice in a month. Someone really needs to stop me!
Saturday - We had about 15 friends coming over so I made a couple of easy things (read fried potatoes) and bought other things and delegated a few more. We lit lamps again and my bestest friend came over in the evening when we made rangoli all over the house. We had tried our hands at rangoli last year as well and managed a sad looking flower. I think we are getting better every year! We had a great time - everyone enjoyed the food and we played pictionary till late in the night. One of the friends got half a pound of jalebis. Now I love jalebis and haven't been able to find the freshly fried ones you get in Delhi and I must say these ones came pretty close. It is safe to say I had 75% of the said jalebis.
Sunday - After cooking/cleaning the entire day on Saturday, we literally did not get up from the couch all of Sunday. My husband (hence be known as the Mad Scientist or the MS) made scrambled eggs for lunch which we ate while reading the thick New York times in the sun and then lazed around some more. We went for a walk by the river in the evening, found a starbucks and sat there chatting forever.

The weekend was so relaxing and happy that I feel I had a mini vacation and not just 2 days off!

I have a Delhi shaped hole in my heart

The festive season is upon us though you wouldn't feel it looking at the glum faces of people here in New York. I miss home the most during this time as each event starting with navratras, dussehra, Karav chauth, Diwali remind me of home and what we did. Especially Diwali. I miss being in Delhi where there is a buzz in the air this time - shops and homes lit up, people shopping in hordes, firecrackers going off, weather finally starting to turn - not cold yet but a lovely nip in the air. I miss not being able to go to puja pandals during navratras and eat that awesome bhog, not sitting through the dussehra puja after which every room in the house would be cleansed with holy smoke, not being able to fast in a big exuberant group on karva chauth ...just about everything.

I remember we used to wake up early on Diwali to help mum make alpana around the house with natural colors - ground rice for white, turmeric for yellow and roli for red. Then we used to decorate the house with flowers and every year we would think of an innovative way. The living room was set with a dry fruit tray and other yummy stuff decorated for the visitors that would be pouring in all day. The rest of the day is a haze now - don't remember what we did but we used to be excited all day. Preparations used to start for the elaborate puja in the evening with khil, sugar toys, batashas and lots and lots of lamps. We used to light candles all over, one for every room and lots of them in the balcony and the doorway to welcome goddess Lakshmi. After puja we would go down for bursting crackers - very harmless ones, sparklers, fountains and the like. When we were slightly older, I used to go out with my friends for a walk round the block and I remember it was beautiful with all houses lit up and people smiling.

I now try to bring some diwali spirit into my house but it is just not the same. And having a dettached husband doesn't help - he is most supportive of whatever I do and cleans up the house and does everything to help but doesn't really understand why I feel so strongly and why I put in so much effort to decorate the house and call people over etc... We generally have a potluck and I decorate the house with diyas, rangoli and for one evening try to recreate those memories and bring diwali into my house...

End of an era

The reason for my absence has been pure laziness to write combined with shocking events at work. Yes, I work for that Wall Street firm which declared bankruptcy a week back. And I was in Europe on Sunday desperately calling S every one hour to give me updates. I couldn't sleep all night as concerned friends kept calling and msging and finally I decided to go to the airport early and demand that they put me on the first flight to NY. Monday at work was surreal - no one knew what this meant and everyone was packing and writing out goodbye emails and furiously emailing consultants. I felt sad and something more than the fact that I will be unemployed troubled me. It was demise of the firm - it has been my first job out of school and have had a fantastic time here over the last 5 years.

I still feel sad that the name will cease to exist - still not used to saying that I work with Barclays. Don't get me wrong - of course, I was relieved that the acquisition went through. I get to keep my job, still have a source of income and not look out in this bad market. But I will still take time to get over the events of the last week - I feel I haven't had a chance to mourn properly and get it out of my system. I know, sounds really silly, this attachment with an employer who I anyways wanted to leave. But it is the end of an era for me - my first job and my first training ground - which I will always remember with fond memories.

Then I hear that some people are actually happy with this turmoil in the Wall Street as "bankers who didn't deserve to earn all that money deserve this". I was really shocked - a significant percentage of people who work in our building are support staff - admins, cleaners, security - are you really happy that these people may have lost their jobs? Don't you think these 'rich bankers' employ household staff, chauffeurs thereby creating jobs? But above all, how can anyone ever be happy with someone else losing their job? You don't know how many people that person is supporting, what charities he/she may be contributing to. It is sometimes amazing how resentful some people are.